Peter's Wife

helping women connect with their world

A Life Well-Lived

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Last month, while we were on a home visit to the USA, my Dad passed away. Dad was 94 years old and had been failing for some. Last year he told me there were three things that made him sad. One, he was almost deaf. Two, he couldn’t remember what he did hear. And three, he could no longer sign his name.

I think he was more than ready for the new body God had for him, and for his new home. He fell three times in the last months of his life. I was overseas when he fell. Each time, I would wonder if this was the time I needed to rush home to see him and help my family. Each time I spent a day or so crying and praying and never felt it was right for me to go. Each time he would pop back up. We began to call him “The Energizer Bunny,” like the toy rabbit in the battery commercial that kept, “going and going and going.” Nothing seemed to keep him down for long.

I really didn’t know if I could be there for my Dad and my family at the time of his death. As cross-cultural workers, we often cannot be home when loved ones die. Each year, when I’d leave to return to our field, Dad and I said goodbye as though it would be our last. We ended each phone call with, “I love you.” But it’s not his loss that echoes so strongly in my heart. It’s that his life was so well-lived.

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Am I a Dinosaur?

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Do you ever feel like a dinosaur? People who buy the lies of the current moral confusion, with all its relativism, call themselves Progressives. That makes people like us- people who hold onto proven, established principles of truth- dinosaurs. Our day is over. Now it’s their day. Or, so they say.

We pursue many different avenues of service here in our adopted country. We love our work, this place, and especially the people. But recently, we’ve heard some of the most heart-rending stories. We’ve tried to help the innocent victims, and we’ve tried to help those who caused terrible pain to others. Sometimes, by the grace of God, we succeed. But, in truth, many times we don’t, and those situations grieve us.

In all this grief, I’ve seen a common thread. If people just stayed inside the boundaries God has set, they would never have to deal with these horrible consequences (See Psalm 16:5-6). But the spirit of this age, combined with their own distorted desires, constantly battles that idea.

Here’s an example. Like most of my readers, we teach abstinence before marriage. We teach fidelity in marriage. We teach thoughtfulness and appreciation for our spouse. We teach honor and respect. We teach financial accountability. These are not such extraordinary boundaries, are they? In our world, it seems they are.

I am not describing people outside the Christian community. These are people who have said they believe. Yet there was a disconnect between what they said they believe and what they did. That has always been a problem. But the idea that biblical teaching is outdated makes destructive behavior even more alluring.
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Internet and Device Safety

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Cross Cultural workers were early adopters of the internet and social media. Both have helped us in so many ways that we can’t imagine our life and work without them. In fact, some of my readers may have no memory of the days of blue airgrams, one-month turnaround times for mail, or overseas calls that cost a lot for very little time.

But that was yesterday. Today, though we don’t live close to our family, friends, and supporters at home, we have the freedom and instant connectivity that the internet has provided us.

Even so, with every freedom, there are dangers. So, in this issue, I will give you links to some of the best information I have found for internet security for you and your children. You may know about some of these tools, and perhaps use them, but it’s always good to do a checkup and update, if needed. [Read more…]

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House Rules for Computers

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By Ben Taylor, May 2017 (www.bestvpn.com)

A well-considered set of technical “house rules” is a good starting point for families who want to work against the dangers presented by everyday technology. Different families will, no doubt, have different approaches, but here are ten possible house rules as a starting point.

  1.    Keep computers in living areas

The best place for the family computer(s) is the living room or kitchen, where children know that a parent may look over their shoulder at any time. Children already have online chat acronyms for warning their friends when people are watching, such as “POS” (parent over shoulder). Making clear you understand these will help too, and this resource will help with that. As an example of one to look out for, “ASL?” means “Age / Sex / Location?” and is often used at the start of conversations with online strangers.

  1.    Implement an “Internet embargo.”

You may wish to consider time-limiting Internet access to certain times of the day. Many routers even let you set the Wi-Fi network to disable itself after a certain time, say 9 pm. This may send shudders through many parents (myself included), but having such a policy is actually rather healthy for the adults in the household too!

  1.    Agree that parents will “friend” children on their social networks

When the time comes for children to want their own social media presence (much more on that below), a good initial compromise is to insist that one or both parents is a fully-fledged “friend” on that platform, who’s able to see all the child’s activity.

  1.    Give parents password access to all children’s devices

Children should not have devices that allow them to lock their activity away from their guardians’ reach. A parent should reserve the right to log in and see what’s been going on.

  1.    Parents approve or veto use of new social networks

If a child wants to get involved in a new social network (and in youngsters’ circles, there’s always a new big thing), they should get parental approval first. The UK site, Net-Aware, offers a fabulous resource that helps parents learn about new social networks, what they do, and what ages they are suitable for.

  1.    Children must tell parents before providing any personal information online

The idea here is to make handing over personal information online the exception, rather than the rule. Children should understand why it’s generally a bad idea to hand out addresses and phone numbers. In fairness, this is a reasonable stance for adults to take also.

  1.    Children must only use online chat to people they talk to in real life

This should be a no-brainer, but GuardChild states that nearly 70% of teenagers are contacted by strangers online on a regular basis and don’t notify their parents. Constant reminders on this are therefore paramount.

  1.    Web browsing histories should not be deleted

Youngsters (and adults!) who continually delete their web histories are generally looking at things they don’t want others to know about. You may, therefore, wish to make deleting browser histories a forbidden action for your children. The same applies to using “incognito” or private browsing modes, which don’t maintain any history.

I very quickly became aware of the non-existent browser history which made me instantly suspicious. At the time, Windows machines maintained a file (called INDEX.DAT) which allowed me to see all the visited websites despite the deleted history. If a child has spent hours browsing online and there’s no history to show for it, this should set off some alarm bells!

  1.    Children must report any bullying or anything distressing they see online

This one may prove hard to police, especially when children become secretive teenagers. However, an ongoing open discussion about topics like cyber-bullying should go some way to making children feel comfortable in sharing these issues.

  1. Breaches mean a loss of privileges!

It’s almost inevitable that children will bend the rules at some point. As and when they do, it’s important for parents to follow up on their threatened sanctions – or nobody will take the rules seriously in the future.

You can read more of this article on Internet Safety: How to Keep Kids and Teens Safe Online

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Why Do We Do, What We Do, Anyway

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Do you ever wonder why we do what we do? I’ve had that on my mind recently.  All around us we see the poisoned fruits that grow from diseased decisions. People hurt; lives ruined; abounding disillusionment. Yet we, who choose to follow the Bible’s ways, may be seen as beings from another world. (In truth, we are!) Yet even in the face of criticism, incredulity, and sometimes animosity, we continue doing what we know is right.

I recently saw some words that very powerfully express that divine determination.  Among other places, these words below were found in Robert Griffin III’s locker when he left Redskins Park. RGIII was a star footballer whose career ended due to a string of injuries. He was known as a strong Christian, but he was tested by the collapse of his dreams. Many sources mention that the words were also found on Mother Teresa’s Orphanage wall; some say in her very room. You may have seen them before. If so, take a fresh look in the light of your present circumstances and condition.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
BE KIND ANYWAY.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends, and some genuine enemies.
SUCCEED ANYWAY.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
BE HONEST AND SINCERE ANYWAY.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
CREATE ANYWAY.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
BE HAPPY ANYWAY.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
DO GOOD ANYWAY.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
GIVE YOUR BEST ANYWAY.

In the final analysis, it’s between you and God.
IT WAS NEVER BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY.

 

I was thinking . . . [Read more…]

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