Peter's Wife – Page 20

Grief at a Distance

An American who had been to the US Embassy in Lagos and was coming to Benin City, hand carried a note from the Consulate. The Consulate didn’t want to just courier the message, but have someone hand carry it. The note was to inform my husband that his mother had passed away a few days earlier. What to do? What was expected of him by his sister and family? What would our board say he should do?

If we stay overseas long enough, all of us will be faced with this dilemma. Grieving over the death of a loved one at anytime and in any place is difficult even as it is absolutely normal and expected. Living and working cross culturally usually means we find ourselves physically away from immediate family, relatives, our closest friends, and our faith community when a loved one dies.

This month’s article is drawn from Grieving From a Literal Distance by N. Ohanian. Ms Ohanian served overseas for many years and is currently in a doctoral program for Missionary Member Care. She provides practical helps for those who experience grief while living and working overseas and describes how to evaluate if a trip home or professional help is in order.

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There’s Always Hope

Time-Wise

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by Gayle Francis

I was blessed the other night as I read chapters four and five in Mark’s gospel. One evening Jesus got into a boat with his disciples and headed toward the country of the Gadarenes. On the way there, He calmed a storm at sea and in his anxious disciples. Upon arrival, He was immediately confronted with a demon-possessed man and delivered him. That miracle upset the people so much that Jesus had to turn around and quickly make the return boat trip. There was still no time to rest because a large crowd was waiting for Him. Before He had a chance to stop, he healed the woman with the issue of blood and raised the daughter of Jairus from the dead.

Then I mentally rehearsed my day. First my devotions were interrupted by a phone call from a friend who explained difficulties over which she seems unable to get victory. I had just returned to my quiet time when the phone rang again. The man for whom we had been “dog sitting” let us know he was ready to come get his pet. During the six weeks that we had kept his dog, my young daughter had become attached to the animal and the parting produced tears. The time needed to calm her torn emotions and change her mind-set took the remainder of the morning. Before I realized it, I was involved in the necessary push of preparing lunch. That afternoon was filled with the line-by-line condensing and editing of study material to be translated into the language of a country where there is a famine of available printed scriptural data. Then there was the dental appointment for my fourteen-year-old son to be fitted with braces. Later more time was spent in working on an article for publication. Evening found us attending Bible study and intercessory prayer time at a local assembly.

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Must Singles be Lonely?

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It was a frigid February morning as I arose and watched my breath hanging in the air before my eyes. I knew today’s priority had to be finding kerosene to heat my apartment. Oil delivery to Armenia had been limited this winter making kerosene purchases an exhausting hide-n-seek game. As I ate my chilly goat cheese and flatbread a host of thoughts joined me at the breakfast table; I really don’t like eating alone. Does anyone know my struggle? What if I freeze to death? Must I always be brave? Why do I have to do this alone? Who can help me? Where are my students when I need them? Why don’t I have a husband? Why won’t Thomas ask me out? Suddenly I was astounded at how a simple lack of kerosene led to utter loneliness and sadness.

Serving single on the foreign field has numerous benefits of ease, simplicity, flexibility, time and exciting adventurous possibilities. Singles tend to learn new languages, develop national friends and adapt to culture, more quickly and smoothly. Housing and travel options tend to be greater and expenses fewer.

But as in most things in life many pluses often include minuses. The solo servant needs to be aware of and prepared for periods of emotional and spiritual loneliness. I believe for many of us single workers, loneliness is not a constant state of being but more a feeling which comes in seasons and waves.

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