Children

Loving Our Kids Through Transition

By Lilly at Velvet Ashes?

“Mom, I really miss my friends.” We’d moved to the Middle East a few months before, and my oldest – then 3. 8 years old – was really struggling with leaving our old life behind. Her downcast look made my heart sink.

“Oh sweetheart, I know. I miss my friends so much too…” I wanted her to know she wasn’t alone. But I also wanted to guide her heart to the One who comforts us. ”

Please read the rest of Lilly’s great article on how she helped her girls through many transitions from place to place. She has wonderful ideas of ways to smooth the transition and help her daughters feel a part of the process of moving. Velvet Ashes

Are You Tired?

Leave a Comment

It’s May, time to remember to honor mothers.

When I read this very familiar scripture, I was thinking of moms.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” –Matt. 11:28-30.

Is there any mom with a baby or children who is not tired and burdened? I haven’t met her! So, if you are tired and burdened, there is good news for you.

God knows what you are dealing with right now. He knows the day and night challenges of parenting. He knows you get frustrated with the constant demands. He knows that you worry about whether you are doing the right things for your child.

[Read more…]

MK Challenges

Leave a Comment

The inspiration for this article is from the book, Letters Missionaries Never Write by Frederick L. Kosin. If you can get the book, I recommend it to you.

The letter that intrigued me was from a young adult MK. She talked about many of her feelings and thoughts about moving from her home country to the field, attending boarding school, and returning to her home country for college. I recognized many of the scenarios from my children’s time overseas, and then back in their home culture. At first I planned to share her insights in this newsletter. But instead, I decided to address moms of MKs. My purpose is simple: I want to encourage you to hear your own kids and respond to their particular thoughts about this global nomad life.

Going Out

The first feeling this young woman mentioned was that she had no choice about becoming an MK. She said her parents did a lot right. They discussed the decision carefully, and talked to her and the other children about the place they would go. She was excited at first, but later cried herself to sleep with grief about losing her friends. It became so bad she wished she could die and go to heaven since that would be better. I wonder if we, as parents, ever fully understand how our children, at their ages, experience our responses to the will of God.

Our children don’t have a choice about being MKs, or military brats, or inner city kids, or doctor’s kids. No child chooses their parents’ career. Our MKs are not unusual in that. Even so, we should do everything we can to help our kids have the best life they can within the limits of our calling. We should try to teach them how to get the most out of the life they have been given. But we should not feel guilty that they did not have a choice about the type of life they grow up in.

[Read more…]

Mom in a Foreign Land

Leave a Comment

In May we honor mothers, but many of us living outside our home culture miss the usual Mother’s Day celebrations. That’s a perfect opportunity for homesickness and self pity.

One year we were on a short-term trip to Malaysia. We stayed in the college dormitory and taught courses. As Mother’s Day approached I was feeling a little sorry for myself. Though my sons usually don’t do a great deal for Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, they always remembered the day in some special way. Here I was half a world away from them, and might not even be able to arrange a phone call on the day.

[Read more…]

TCK Friendships

2 Comments

As you may know, our two sons grew up, for more than half their childhood years, outside their home country. That makes them Third Culture Kids, or TCKs. Recently I have been thinking about how our sons react to their world. I wondered how much their experience as Third Culture Kids actually affects them today, now that they are adults. I was especially interested in how TCKs make friends, and how their experience differs from others in that area.

For a refresher, I looked at David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken’s textbook called, Third Culture Kids. The chapter on Relational Patterns discusses how Third Culture Kids (TCKs) make friendships and how that affects them later in life.

[Read more…]