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Strong Marriage

Every year we hear news of another failed PW marriage. How many do you know?

Today we hear of more PW marriages failing than a generation ago. In the past, most PWs came from stable homes, even if their parents weren’t believers. Today a much higher percentage of PWs come from broken home backgrounds. Furthermore, many young people have no model of a strong, healthy marriage. Add to this the stresses of cross-cultural work. A marriage that is shaky at home may stay together because of extended family or available counseling; while the same marriage overseas may break up because of isolation and different social mores.

Let’s consider what is important in a marriage– the non-negotiable needs for a successful marriage, whether at home or living cross culturally.

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Our Greatest Challenges

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Recently we had a chance to talk to some folks just preparing to go out as cross-culture workers. What a joy it was to have a part in preparing them for what they would face on the field. That made me think about what some of their greatest challenges would be. As we all know, there are few things more challenging than learning to live and serve effectively in a host culture. Just thinking back to our early years and first posting can give us the shakes! How did we ever manage? And how did our new friends tolerate us? Ultimately it was, and is Father’s faithfulness.

Some years ago I did a little informal survey of some PWs. Their answers fell into nine categories. I thought it might be a good time to take another look at these challenges. Keep in mind as you look at them, that many of these are stresses we, as workers, cannot change. We find ways to adapt and adjust our expectations. This isn’t bad, but it takes work on our part and grace from our Father- lots of it. [Read more…]

Divine Appointment

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Divine appointments, scheduled by God, come at some unusual times. Divine assignments often seem stranger than fiction. Beth Moore, a Bible study author, speaker, wife, and mother, wrote her Hairbrush story in her book Further Still. Hearing others’ stories can help us tune our ears to the voice of our Father.

April 20, 2005, at the Airport in Knoxville, waiting to board the plane, I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I’d had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say this because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you. You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego.

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Marriage Erosion

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Trapped in the ruble from the World Trade Center was Police Sargent, John McLoughlin. Under slabs of concrete and metal, fighting the hopelessness of his plight, he determined to stay awake. At one point, he was imagining a conversation with his wife. He asked, “What went wrong with us?” She answered, “I think we stopped seeing each other.”

This scene, from the movie World Trade Center, has played over and over in my mind in the last week or so. How many couples could say the same thing? The huge events did not cause their marriage to be in trouble. It was slow erosion over many years. PWs are not immune. Taking a few minutes to evaluate and making slight adjustments now may keep us from ever having to admit our marriage has failed.

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