Peter's Wife – Page 39

School Alternatives

One of the hardest decisions that many PWs face is how to educate their children while on the field. There are a variety of choices, but usually even the best choice has a “down” side.

From the different sources I was able to find, the consensus was that what is right for one family may not be right for the next. I would go even further and say, “What is right for one child at one time, may not be right for that child at another time.” Or what is right for one child in a family may not be right for another child in the same family.” Each family must think about the options and pray for God’s direction each year.

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First Year

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What makes the first year on the field so tough? Here are some answers from those who have been there and helped others through that time.

Some things that happen before you go to the field make a difference about how difficult that first year will be. A one month field trip is invaluable. Lea says, “This sounds like expensive advice but I have found out through lots of experience working with PWs that it is one of the best investments anyone can make. This month long visit not only helps prepare a person for what to bring when they come out but also opens their eyes to a few of the difficulties they may face overseas. ”

Developing a close relationship that you can continue through email would be a lifesaver. We all need someone we can confide in and having someone not related to our board or field will give us much needed perspective when we go through rough water. Many of us have found, however, that the “folks back home” cannot relate to our field experience, so someone who has lived overseas would be the best type person for a confidante.

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Hubby’s Away

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In November, 1990 a group of PWs from various organizations met together for a monthly fellowship meeting. We talked about the problems we faced when our husbands were traveling. Some interesting problems were voiced in our small group.

The most common problem had to do with the shifting of roles when our husbands were going in and out. How the husband and wife responded to the separations greatly effected the adjustments they made. One lady’s husband had been gone on a three month trip. She gave him a week or more to ease back into his role as head of the home because she was sensitive to his need to unwind before picking up the reins again. For another family the husband needed to quickly resume his role. He felt he no longer had a place in his own home when she carried on as she had been while they were apart. One wife whose husband was gone frequently for short periods found that the children were confused by the role shifts. It was necessary for her to continue making the decisions and disciplining the children for the first twenty-four hours or so after his return. This gave the children a sense of security in an otherwise disrupted schedule.

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Culture Shock

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“Only first time travelers experience culture shock.” “It is a disease of the emotionally unstable.” “Culture shock goes away with time.” These are just a few of the misconceptions about a very common problem for those who live outside their home culture.

When capable, independent people are thrust into a situation of almost total dependence, stress is inevitable. Language barriers, cultural differences, climate changes, and the unavailability of familiar goods and services add stress to individuals. Providing adequate education for the children, dealing with domestic help for the first time, and separations from immediate family members cause increased family pressures.

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Hospitality

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Some of us have a gift for hospitality and some of us find it hard. But all of us are called on to be hostess to a variety of people. When we live in a foreign culture, hospitality can take on a whole new meaning.

Being ourselves and doing what comes naturally seem to be the keys to being a good hostess, no matter who are our guests. When we are trying to figure out what is “right” or what will look good to them, we are thinking more about ourselves than our guests. When we put their comfort and needs first, our responses will be natural and put them at ease.

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