What makes the first year on the field so tough? Here are some answers from those who have been there and helped others through that time.
Some things that happen before you go to the field make a difference about how difficult that first year will be. A one month field trip is invaluable. Lea says, “This sounds like expensive advice but I have found out through lots of experience working with PWs that it is one of the best investments anyone can make. This month long visit not only helps prepare a person for what to bring when they come out but also opens their eyes to a few of the difficulties they may face overseas. ”
Developing a close relationship that you can continue through email would be a lifesaver. We all need someone we can confide in and having someone not related to our board or field will give us much needed perspective when we go through rough water. Many of us have found, however, that the “folks back home” cannot relate to our field experience, so someone who has lived overseas would be the best type person for a confidante.
The effort of leaving home, raising support, selling off possessions, buying supplies, packing, shipping, and saying good-byes can leave you exhausted before you even arrive. Arriving weary makes the whole transition that much harder. If at all possible plan a few days of R&R between leaving home and arriving on the field.
Carol mentioned a web site with on-line magazine articles about cultural adjustment. You can find it at www.mti.org They say, “The initial patterns of behavior and response set during the culture-entry stage will influence the way you function for as long as you are in that culture.”This explains why it is so important to keep the right attitudes and become as comfortable in the new culture as possible.
The first year is a year of adjustments. This year on the field is made so difficult because of adjustments to a new culture and language, adjustments to a new climate and living conditions, adjustments to new social mores, adjustments to new schedules and responsibilities, and adjustments of expectations.
Lea said, “A wife and mother’s first priority becomes learning how to cook and keep things clean so her family stays healthy.”This is not as simple as it sounds. Shopping for food and learning how to use different cooking utensils and appliances are major hurdles that cannot be put off. Dealing with domestic help, especially if you don’t speak the language, complicates the process.
Learning the language is vital to good adjustment. But language school has its own set of built in difficulties. We will devote a whole issue to that topic in the future. But for now, the lack of visible results for all the effort is the difficulty we want to mention.
Married couples must adjust to the customs for couples within their culture. We had to learn to say our good-byes at home because a hug and kiss at the airport was not acceptable.
Lea also mentioned, “PWs may not be received with open arms by nationals.” It is important NOT to arrive with the Mighty Mouse mentality, “Here I come to save the day, Mighty Mouse is on the way!” The nationals may have experienced Mighty Mouse PWs in the past and aren’t all that happy about your arrival. They may never have seen ex-patriots before and don’t know what to expect. Or they may know what you are there to do and don’t want that.
The first year is a year of dealing with expectations. Jennifer had some good things to say, “I think the first year on the field is a little like the first year of marriage. You are continually dealing with expectations. Expectations about a place you have never lived, expectations about your team, and expectations about your job. Most PWs find they are not doing what they were “hired” to do.”
Another difficulty Jennifer mentions is personality conflicts. “Even though you are warned about them in training, the reality may be a rude awakening.” She goes on to talk about one of the major causes of conflict being “that we depend on the same small group of people for fellowship, social life, co-workers, and neighbors. Back in our home culture we have co-workers we like, but with whom we don’t choose to socialize exclusively. We have friends at church whom we love dearly, but don’t want to do everything with. Yet we expect our fellow PWs to fulfill all these roles in our lives. Sometimes this is unavoidable, in isolated situations, but where possible, avoid it.”
With all these difficulties how does anyone survive? Again, the ladies had some wonderful suggestions. Carol mentioned “the key is that the whole family must be part of the settling process, and the quicker you can move out of your own culture and into the new one, the easier the transition. Families who spend more time within their own culture (with other PWs or ex-pats) often seem to take longer to settle, than those who deliberately spend time moving out and meeting the host culture.”
Finding a mentor to assist this process is so important. Find people who are really at home in the culture. We were really fortunate to have a local man who befriended us. Every time he visited he taught us about the food and how to prepare it, customs, and where to get the things we needed. He made the whole process of learning the culture an exciting game. His attitude permanently flavored our experience in that country.
Jennifer told the story of one poor young man who was just paralyzed with culture shock. One older PW displayed a tremendous lack of sympathy by laughing at this fellow’s pain. “He DID make it and went on to become a field leader, partly because his own board was willing to work with his weakness by assigning him to an easier post in a big city, rather than the small town situation he started out in. Later he and his family moved to the bush and lived there happily.”
“Learn by silent observation during your first term before you make your opinions strongly known in team meetings. Ask a lot of questions, “Jennifer said.
“The most important key to success in the first year and throughout your cross-cultural experience is your ever-deepening relationship with God,” said Lea. “Through spending time with God in prayer and meditation in His Word and fellowship with other believers our spirit-man is encouraged and empowered to keep us on track. The mistake many people make during the first year overseas is looking for relief from their stress outside of their relationship with God. They’ll forge relationships with other PWs who never have properly adjusted to living overseas and are themselves out of sync with what God is wanting for their lives. God is the One Who sent you to the field and it is He alone who can give you the grace you’ll need to make it not only during that first year but for all the years that follow.”
Debbie says
The Key to Success
My first few months in Senegal, West Africa were exciting yet scary. I was eager to learn the ways of the country and frustrated not having a mentor who would teach me about the markets, driving, beggars, banks, business and where to get my hair cut.These things became an obsession.
God was gracious and within two months a medical missions team recognized the need and reached out a helping hand whenever possible. I was introduced to a Senegalese Christian lady who began tutoring me in language and culture. What fun we had sharing cultures, prayers, Scriptures and concerns. I soon began to love the Senegalese people. As a result the neighborhood doors opened to me and I walked through them.
I was totally surprised when I found myself sitting on a cement floor eating out of a communal bowl with one hand, shaking begging lepers’ hands, bandaging begging children’s feet and driving a car through sand covered streets filled with people, busses, sheep and horse drawn carts. Only the love of God could have made me do that!
The more I experienced the culture and the people the more I enjoyed being there. I also learned that the more you step out proclaiming God’s love and forgiveness the more Satan attacks in unusual ways. The night I opened my home for my first international singles gathering I fought my first bout with malaria. It hit during the grocery shopping for the dinner that night. I worried about making it home. I spent the day praying to get better and trying to cook between naps. Twenty four girls filled my house. From June throughout October I would go to my job, come home to crawl into bed exhausted. I still enjoyed Senegal and was holding monthly singles gatherings. Two months later another bout of severe flu like symptoms appeared. My houseworker was frightened and determined I should go to the hospital. A friend took me to a clinic. I had lost 15 pounds. On my way back to health I had to deal with a mugging and then an attempted car hi-jacking. I learned too late that prayer and prayer partners are the key to survival. Satan is determined not to give up any of his possessions, but God is stronger and He prevails.
My encouragement to first year PWs is to learn the language, pray and take time to enjoy where you are. In trying to get over the stress of the attacks I went out to a remote village to rest. I found myself getting up at daybreak to watch the villagers begin their day. There on the roof top I began to thank God for allowing me the privilege of having lived and worked in Africa. My prayer today is that a revival would sweep throughout Africa.
Carol says
Resources for New Arrivals
I am involved in a ministry to new families in assisting them to settle and adjust to their first years of service here in Arnhem Land. We all became PWs with mixed feelings. Feelings of excitement that we are finally here after years of preparation in most instances, and yet also with feelings of fear, frustration and concern about the new culture we are living in, our living circumstances and the affect on our children and families. It is an enormous adjustment to make.
I do believe the key is that the whole family must be part of the settling process, and the quicker you can move out of your own culture and into the new one, the easier the transition. Families who spend more time within their own culture (other PW Staff, or expats etc) often seem to take longer to settle, than those who deliberately spend time moving out and meeting the host culture.
This needs to be done in a sensitive way and finding other staff to mentor and assist this process is so important. As the Training Institute Web page says, “Find people who are really at home in the culture.” Then from those, find people who will let you struggle and adjust in your own settling process. They will be your confidantes, friends and pastoral care givers.
Don’t be afraid to share your feelings with your home churches and prayer partners. They need to know your struggles. If you can only share these feelings with a few, then that is enough. You need to take care of yourself and know that you are being prayed for when you feel overwhelmed with your new situation. Above all, remember that anything you are feeling is a shared and common reaction. You are only experiencing what everyone who goes into another culture experiences to one degree or another.
Jennifer says
Advice to Newcomers
After our first year in West Africa (or actually our whole first term), I swore I would NEVER forget what it was like, so I could sympathize with newcomers. One of the hardest things for me, was the lack of sympathy from “old-timers.” They simply could not remember any difficulties they had had, or even that they had had difficulties! I remember one older man describing the difficulties of adjustment a new young man had when he was staying with him. The young man was just paralyzed with culture shock, and this older man told about it as a HUMOROUS anecdote. He also said knowingly that the young man would never make it. (He DID make it and went on to become field leader of his group, partly because his own board was willing to work with his weaknesses, such as assigning him to an easier post in a big city, rather than the small town situation he started out in. Later he & his family moved to the bush and lived there happily).
I think the first year overseas is a little like the first year of marriage. You are continually dealing with expectations, for one thing. Expectations about a place you have never lived even if you have visited, you were probably treated like “company” and you probably never saw a true picture of the culture or the field. Expectations about your team: personality conflicts are generally not included in field profiles, and even tho you are warned about them in training, the reality may be a rude awakening. Expectations about your job: this may not hit during the first year or two, as you are occupied with language study, but eventually most PWs find they are not doing what they were “hired” to do.
Advice to newcomers:
1. If it’s possible in the midst of all your excitement to lower your expectations, do it! I don’t want to say be ready for the worst, but it might not be a bad idea, because then you may be pleasantly surprised.
2. Email has been a life-saver to me thru many difficulties. This was not available when I first came to the field (even tho I’m NOT very old), but I have certainly profited from it since! One thing I really needed was a confidante in those early days, someone separate from the situation. Develop such a relationship before you leave for the field if possible — those most helpful to me have been PWs on other fields, sometimes in other organizations.
3. Cultivate friendships on the field outside of your own group, both among those of other organizations, and nationals, if possible. I firmly believe that a major cause of conflict among PWs is that we depend on the same small group of people for fellowship, social life, co-workers in church and elsewhere, and in the case of PW stations, neighbors. Back in our home culture we have co-workers we like, but with whom we don’t choose to socialize exclusively. I have friends at church whom I love dearly, but I don’t want to do everything with them. Yet we expect our fellow PWs to fulfill all these roles in our lives. Sometimes this is unavoidable, in isolated situations, but where possible, avoid it. (A warning: this friend should not be the confidante of #2; do not spill your complaints about your organization to people living on the same field; keep “family” problems within the family).
4. Have a hobby. It’s not unspiritual to relax by doing needlework, reading fiction, etc. Also, be sure to take all the vacation time and days off you are allowed.
5. Learn by silent observation during your first term before you make your opinions strongly known in team meetings. Ask a lot of questions. And try to see past the lack of sympathy of the veteran PWs to appreciate and learn from their experience.
6. Don’t take a vacation in your homeland after the first year, even if you can afford it. It’s too soon, and you may be greatly tempted not to return.
Lea says
Arrival
The first year spent by anyone overseas can be extremely difficult for an abundance of reasons. First of all, there’s so much work involved before leaving the US that when a family leaves for an overseas destination – it is most likely that they already need a vacation before even getting started. Few people understand or even realize themselves the stress involved (i.e., financial, emotional, spiritual) in getting prepared to leave for overseas assignment.
Upon a family’s (or single person’s for that matter) arrival, added on top of their already weary state from preparing to leave and parting from friends and family members, they are submerged in a culture and language unknown to them. A wife and mother’s first priority becomes learning how to cook and keep things clean so her family stays healthy.
Depending on what their priorities are, one may be required to attend language school – this itself is incredibly stressful as while one is learning language there are not many visible results immediately (learning a language can take from a few months to years depending on the language, individual, etc.).
A married couple has to totally adjust to the customs for couples within their country – I’ve heard from many couples that their first year ooverseas was among their most difficult.
Additionally, overseas assignment is often not what a person has expected it to be – PWs may not be received with open arms by nationals (i.e., in Muslim nations for example), a person soon finds out that there is little they can do at first to change all of the difficult things surrounding them.
Many PWs have – unbeknownst to them – preconceived expectations of what they can do to change the people of their field. We’ve said here that before a person can bring change to Africa, Africa first changes the person. These are a few reasons, among many, that make the first year living overseas so difficult.
What makes that first year possible to endure is an ever-deepening relationship with God. Through spending time with God in prayer and meditation in His Word and fellowship with other Christians (who are part of His body and help us to grow even if we can’t understand them at first!) our spirit-man is encouraged and empowered to keep us on track. The mistake many people make during the first year overseas is looking for relief from their stress outside of their relationship with God. They’ll forge relationships with other PWs who never have properly adjusted to living overseas and are themselves out of sync with what God is wanting for their lives. God is the One Who is able to see us through that first year. Overseas work is not easy – but God is able to get us through.
For those who are looking to go out for a long term cross cultural work, my first bit of advice is to visit the area where you are going for one month. This sounds like expensive advice but I have found out through lots of experience working with PWs that it is one of the best investments any PW can make. This month long visit not only helps prepare a person for what to bring when they come out but also opens their eyes to a few of the difficulties they may face overseas. Additionally, I’d counsel a new PW to be careful with whom they forge deep relationships – allow God to help you find those who will build you up rather than tear you down.
Finally and most importantly of all, don’t let your relationship with God slide – God is the One Who sent you to the field and it is He alone who can give you the grace you’ll need to make it not only during that first year but for all the years that follow.
from Lea
Diane, Editor says
Common Comments from Recent Letters:
Here are a list of problems related by first year PWs. To preserve their anonymity no personal details will be shared. But the things they mentioned are so common that I thought you might appreciate their comments.
We had a good marriage relationship, but we found the first three months on the field to be extremely trying and difficult. We had to cope with a new working relationship with one another. We used to work in separate departments, now we work together most of the time.
Corruption is rife and rampant and we did not know how to deal with it. My husband had to go to Immigration every day for three weeks to get our work permit on time. The officers were hoping that we would give them a bribe. Everywhere we went, people from street boys to immigration officers to members of the church always asked for money. Talk about stress!
Because we were the only PWs from our country we had no one to turn to for advice. The only friend we had was the General Superintendent who was always busy. So we took out our frustrations on one another, fought, cried, and prayed. Fortunately God is faithful to intervene and answer!
I cannot begin to tell you how marvelous the grace of God is. Whenever we reach a breaking point, He ministers to us in such a special and specific way that we can go another mile. Through it all, the Lord did bring out the best in us. We found ourselves appreciating the different strengths that we each have and the growth we have seen in each other. We especially appreciate the spiritual and emotional growth and deepening we feel as a couple.
We have found that most of the PWs that are here from the States and Canada, are busy with their own areas of ministry and there really isn’t a desire to meet as a group for fellowship.
We don’t have a car yet and so we have to rely on the buses and taxis. We are pretty familiar with our area and can get around well, but to go further is a real struggle. Also the roads are hilly and curvy, the drivers drive fast and our daughter gets car sick! But we are hoping to soon have a car.
I think the biggest thing I have missed is the friendships I had in the States. I miss talking with another woman about the little things. But e-mail and Instant Messenger sure help!
I have never really sat and talked to a PW about the little things. Like how they dealt with a toddler during a 3 hour church service and no nursery, or how to deal with the heat. I feel so tired and drained a lot of the time. It takes so much effort to just keep the house decent, the laundry done, and food on the table, as well as running after an active toddler! The days fly by and I often wonder what I’ve done for the kingdom that day.
I miss having dates with my husband and a safe person to leave my child with. I miss the ability to just walk into a store and find what I need, and I miss fruits and vegetables that they’ve never heard of here. I miss the cold and snow and the changing seasons, and I miss my family, which includes our young adult daughter.
But on the other hand there are so many things here I like. The children are so beautiful, they come and hang out at our house and we love on them. The market is a wonderful place of variety and color and it amazes me the things they sell, from chicken feet to shoes and bras! I have always loved to watch people and there is such a wealth of differences. I like being able to go outside all year around, and the scenery is fantastic. I don’t even mind being called whitey. Our daughter is blond and blue-eyed and gets attention wherever we go and God uses her to open people’s hearts. It makes me happy when God uses my husband to bless people.
This first year has been a bit of a roller coaster ride for me. I’m glad we’re going to be here for another two years before returning to the US.
Other PWs who have been here awhile seem to have it all together. You don’t hear about their struggles with language or culture unless you ask. Did they really get through the first year without problems or have they just forgotten?
One more area that was difficult for us was finding a new home church in our new culture. We came with very little language. It’s been hard for our children to feel like the church is really their church too. It is hard to be “fed” when 1) you are just learning the language, so you don’t get everything out of the service and 2) the level of teaching is very basic.
I had never home-schooled and now I was home-schooling an eight year old and trying to keep a four year old out of danger in a new environment. Home-schooling might not be so bad if I weren’t also campus nurse, teacher in a Bible school and trying to keep my family fed and clothed!
The almost total lack of privacy is something I never considered before coming here. People never call, they just drop in. Having them wait to see me while we finish eating a meal is so foreign and uncomfortable for me. They always refuse the food I offer them and say they just want to wait for me. Will I ever get used to this?
All the windows are open all the time. Not only can we hear everything that goes on in our neighbors’ house, but they can hear everything in our’s as well.