Peter's Wife

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Disciplines of Emergency Workers

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by Ajith Fernando, Sri Lanka

Today I want to help you to do one of the most important things that are needed at a time like this: pray for the relief workers. This came to me strongly when I heard that one of my colleagues, taking a van load of things to the North last night fell asleep on the wheel. He was driving the van I use. After some anxious moments, when the van travelled 75 meters outside the road, it ended up on the road 180 degrees from the direction it was originally travelling. Miraculously the only damage was two flat tires. Mayukha Perera and S. Jeyaraj who were travelling East at the time turned and went to their aid.

During times of disaster we tend to push ourselves beyond what is healthy for us. That is inevitable, but there is a limit to what our bodies and minds can tolerate. We need to take care that we don’t neglect the essential basics of life for too long. Let me mention a few: [Read more…]

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I Feel Like Quitting

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Am I really a PW? I am only doing what wives and mothers back home are doing? If I am not “out there” working, I’m not really worthy to be called a PW. I’m a failure if I can’t learn the language well. A “real” PW wouldn’t be crying over bugs in the rice, mildew in my shoes, and having to cut my own hair.

These are distortions we have all heard in our heads from time to time. They are usually triggered by a bad day or a long series of bad days. They are the ones that bubble up from some ache deep inside and are blown all out of proportion the longer we think about them. They are a slippery slope to depression.

Some of these were the very reason Peter’s Wife was first started. Twenty years ago PWs coming from nearby countries to renew their visas would stop by and visit or stay with us for a few days. The husbands would visit with my husband in the living room. They would excitedly tell of all the wonderful results for their work. Their wives, on the other hand, would be with me in the kitchen crying because they hadn’t been able to learn the language, home schooling was not going well and the ants were taking over their kitchen. Peter’s Wife began as a way to connect these women with others in similar situations. It helps so much to know we are not alone.

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Remember the Journey

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Here we are on the brink of another year. Have you, like me, been looking back? As Micah told God’s people: remember your journey (Micah 6:5). Where have we been? What have we done?

Some of us began a new journey this year. We’ve finished deputation and are making final plans to go to our first overseas assignment. Others have been home on furlough visiting many old friends and family. Some have gone through the very real stress of changing fields in this last year, with all the upheaval of packing, saying goodbyes and resettling.

A few have experienced threats to the work or even their lives. They learned about persecution at a very personal level this year. Sickness may have struck. A few may have even lost loved ones.

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Seeing Others

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teen-boy-purple-mohawk500Working in cross cultural situations gives us a unique opportunity to see other people. But sometimes we see through filters we are not even aware of. How we see others affects the way we respond to them. And therein lies the importance of clear vision.

Many of us wear glasses to improve our vision, and also wear much thicker lens on the eyes of our heart. We see through the lenses of stereotypes, misconceptions, fear and pride. These lenses were fitted to our hearts from childhood and have become so comfortable we don’t even know we are wearing them.

One day sitting at a traffic light, a really strange person crossed in front of my car. He had dyed hair in a radical style, huge jeans and chains and spikes across his chest. I instantly judged him a troublemaker and profoundly disturbed. Just as he passed in front of my car, he glanced up at me and our eyes locked. Tears began to pour down my face as I realized this was some mother’s son. How her heart must grieve for this son of hers. God changed my sight by touching my heart.

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Betrayal

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Living and working cross culturally can bring out the best or the beast in us. Our topic for this month was about dealing with difficult co-workers. The topic is so broad that we are going to only touch on one aspect, betrayal. We first published this article in 1993, written by Mike Constantine.

Of the many trials and struggles that every worker faces, none brings more pain and perplexity than betrayal. There’s no better way to describe its effects than to look at David’s experience as it is recorded for us in the Book of Psalms:

“If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God…My companion attacks his friends; he violates his covenant. His speech is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords.” Psalms 55: 12-14, 20, 21 NIV.

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