Marriage – Page 2

Bicycle Built for Two

This month, I’m including an article from my husband’s web site, Intermin.org. Agreement is the strength of any marriage. I hope you will be blessed.

Diane

“We had this bicycle,” the lady said. “It was built for two people to ride together. What problems that bicycle caused us!”

“How so?” I asked?

“Well, my husband would ride behind me, on the back seat. I always rode in the front seat and steered. But he wouldn’t peddle! He just let me do all the work. When I applied the brake, then he would start peddling!”

Now, this husband worked against his wife only to tease her, but in many marriages the husband and wife fight against each other over much more serious issues. Rather than making a joint effort towards a common goal, they end up battling for their rights. Each of them has an individual goal and tries to make their spouse go in their direction, at their pace. Marriage becomes a struggle rather than a partnership.

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Strong Marriage

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Every year we hear news of another failed PW marriage. How many do you know?

Today we hear of more PW marriages failing than a generation ago. In the past, most PWs came from stable homes, even if their parents weren’t believers. Today a much higher percentage of PWs come from broken home backgrounds. Furthermore, many young people have no model of a strong, healthy marriage. Add to this the stresses of cross-cultural work. A marriage that is shaky at home may stay together because of extended family or available counseling; while the same marriage overseas may break up because of isolation and different social mores.

Let’s consider what is important in a marriage– the non-negotiable needs for a successful marriage, whether at home or living cross culturally.

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Healing Encouraging Words

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Today’s newsletter is not about speaking a language like Russian or Swahili or Tamil. It is about the language of love. My husband wrote this article for married couples, but the principles apply to conversations in our family, among our staff, and even with nationals. Our words are powerful.

How old were you when you learned to talk? Very verbal children might say their first words at 10 months. By age two you probably had a vocabulary of 100 to 200 words, and the ability to form simple sentences. So you might say that you’ve been saying words all your life. But the real question is, “What have those words done?” Sure, millions of them, even most of them, are gone and forgotten, having served their momentary purpose. Others, though, had profound and lasting consequences.

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Strong Wife, Quiet Husband

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PWs and PW husbands come in all personality styles. For this issue of Peter’s Wife we are looking at the strong wife and the more easy-going, quiet husband. How do they manage in a cross cultural situation?

Many PWs have strong personalities or they wouldn’t survive in a cross cultural situation. These women are gifted in certain areas and are capable leaders. Some of them are married to strong, visionary, high-energy husbands and have the usual adjustments to submission and cooperation. But for strong, capable, verbal women married to more easy going, quieter husbands, the adjustment may be much harder.

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Icing on the Cake

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Single, yet called! It is a dilemma for many women working cross culturally. It would be nice to say, “God has a husband for each one so they can be safer and less lonely.” But that fits our romantic ideas more than it does reality. Over the centuries many single women have been among the pioneers in many hard places. We know that God sets the solitary in families, but it isn’t always with a husband, but rather a family of His choosing. Single women serving God model commitment, obedience, hard work, and contentment. They encourage all of us.

Shanna, one single-minded servant of God, wrote her story to share this month.

Before making the decision to become a single cross cultural worker, I first gave up my belief that I had to get married. I even went so far as to say that I’d never marry a national, and the Lord must want me to remain single, as He was sending me to a far-away country with no husband. I decided to let the Lord be enough for me. And He is.

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