Peter's Wife

helping women connect with their world

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PWs Sharing and Caring

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My husband and I just returned from a wonderful conference in Budapest designed for educational support for those serving in the Europe, Russia and Central Asia. While there, I led two workshops for the ladies. One was on understanding our roles when working overseas, and the other on helping our children feel at home in their host culture.

I would like to take time to write whole articles on these topics, but for now, I’ll just give you the highlights. Think about these points and if you have some thoughts, please email me and I’ll use your ideas, when I write longer articles sometime later. [Read more…]

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When Parents Need Help

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Elizabeth and her husband, George,  intended to spend the next twenty years overseas when they left their home country. They have served overseas for five years. They love their work, and with three small children they have their hands full. After an email and follow-up phone call they are having to re-evaluate their plans. Elizabeth’s father has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. His job is threatened, but for now her mom can continue to support the family.

Sally and Ben are long-timers overseas. They raised their children on the field, and as empty-nesters, they now look forward to some years with fewer family responsibilities. That changed suddenly when Ben’s mother fell and broke her hip. His mother has been a widow living on her on for a few years. What are they to do?

Why talk about aging parents with those who are living and working overseas? Because either now, or in the future, you may have to help care for your own elderly relatives, and that will influence what you can and cannot do overseas.

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I Feel Like Quitting

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Am I really a PW? I am only doing what wives and mothers back home are doing? If I am not “out there” working, I’m not really worthy to be called a PW. I’m a failure if I can’t learn the language well. A “real” PW wouldn’t be crying over bugs in the rice, mildew in my shoes, and having to cut my own hair.

These are distortions we have all heard in our heads from time to time. They are usually triggered by a bad day or a long series of bad days. They are the ones that bubble up from some ache deep inside and are blown all out of proportion the longer we think about them. They are a slippery slope to depression.

Some of these were the very reason Peter’s Wife was first started. Twenty years ago PWs coming from nearby countries to renew their visas would stop by and visit or stay with us for a few days. The husbands would visit with my husband in the living room. They would excitedly tell of all the wonderful results for their work. Their wives, on the other hand, would be with me in the kitchen crying because they hadn’t been able to learn the language, home schooling was not going well and the ants were taking over their kitchen. Peter’s Wife began as a way to connect these women with others in similar situations. It helps so much to know we are not alone.

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Sexual Harassment

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“Honey, I’m worried about Rachel. She hasn’t been sleeping well, and at 14 she’s too old to be clinging to us so much.”

“See if you can get her to talk, Janet. Being her mom, you have the best chance to hear from her. In the meantime, don’t worry. She’ll get over it. . . whatever IT is.”

The dark secret that haunts Rachel is sexual harassment. While going into town on the bus, a young man purposefully brushed her breast with his fingers. Insignificant? Unimportant? Hardly.

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