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An Issue of Trust

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It is December again. We all have Christmas in the back of our minds even if we are not actively thinking about it. The message of the angels to the shepherds was, “Peace on earth and goodwill to men.” Are you experiencing God’s peace? Are you at rest in God and the work He has given you to do? Are you secure in His provision in this economic atmosphere?

Judith Havens shares her lesson on trust with us. In whatever ways your world is turned on its head this Christmas season, let your stability come from your deep abiding trust of the God who gives us peace.

Have you ever ridden on a roller coaster? You know, that up and down motion. One moment you are excited with anticipation of what is to come…the thrill of a life time. The next moment you are being flung through the air and wondering if you will survive. That is usually when I think, “I will never get on this thing again!” [Read more…]

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Criticism

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Criticism! What a great topic since we are all confronted with it to some degree. We are grateful to Joy, a Peter’s Wife reader, for sharing her experience and insights that can help us better handle criticism.

Criticism–when you’ve had about all you can take

“You know why your kids are sick all the time, don’t you? It’s because you don’t make them wear slippers or undershirts. You should take better care of your kids.” (from my closest local friend, just after my son had his tonsils and adenoids removed due to repeat infections)

“Your backside is really getting enormous—I mean look how wide it is. But that’s OK. You have a pretty face.” (from a very slim 40-something neighbor)

“I can’t believe how loud your kids are. It’s impossible to get any rest. I feel like running away. Why can’t you keep them quiet like other people do?” (part of a longer conversation, where my downstairs neighbor berated me for more than 10 minutes in front of all my other neighbors at a tea)

Living in a Culture of Criticism

These are just three criticisms that I’ve received in the last couple of weeks. [Read more…]

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Not My Toothbrush

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I woke this morning in a grumpy mood. My husband had planned a meeting with a local pastor around lunch time. She asked if we could meet at our house and then suggested the menu for lunch. I knew that now it was not just the two to three hours she would be there to talk, but also the preparation time for the meal. My attitude was not very charitable.

After starting the meal, I came to my office to see if there was anything already in print that I could use for Peter’s Wife this month. I am recovering from a two week bout of flu that put me way behind on my preparations. I picked up Sue Eenigenburg’s book, Screams in the Desert. It is a book of stories and devotions about living cross culturally. I leafed through the book and was intrigued by the title, I Gave God My Life, But Not My Toothbrush. After reading the chapter, laughing and groaning, I had to change my attitude about our lunch appointment. Actually, it was the best time we have had with this sister.

Blessings!
Diane

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Thanksgiving

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Ah, we are nearing the end of November. The trees have dropped their leaves. The days are getting shorter and crisper. Time to get a turkey and find all the makings of an American Thanksgiving Feast. Ooops, we’re not in Kansas anymore!

So how do we have Thanksgiving in a hot, sunny, always green place? Can it be Thanksgiving without the turkey, cranberry sauce, and green bean casserole? Of course it can! But it will be different.

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Grief at a Distance

An American who had been to the US Embassy in Lagos and was coming to Benin City, hand carried a note from the Consulate. The Consulate didn’t want to just courier the message, but have someone hand carry it. The note was to inform my husband that his mother had passed away a few days earlier. What to do? What was expected of him by his sister and family? What would our board say he should do?

If we stay overseas long enough, all of us will be faced with this dilemma. Grieving over the death of a loved one at anytime and in any place is difficult even as it is absolutely normal and expected. Living and working cross culturally usually means we find ourselves physically away from immediate family, relatives, our closest friends, and our faith community when a loved one dies.

This month’s article is drawn from Grieving From a Literal Distance by N. Ohanian. Ms Ohanian served overseas for many years and is currently in a doctoral program for Missionary Member Care. She provides practical helps for those who experience grief while living and working overseas and describes how to evaluate if a trip home or professional help is in order.

Diane, Peter’s Wife editor [Read more…]

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