This morning I read this article from Today’s Christian Woman, Leaving and Cleaving. Steve Mesmer wrote the article to help couples successfully leave the family they grew up in. Many couples don’t fully leave their family of origin because they carry patterns of behavior and roles they played into their marriage. His article gives some very good insights into discovering areas that we need to leave in order to properly cleave to our husband.
I thought many of the insights Steve Mesmer mentioned could also apply to our leaving our home culture and adapting to our new one. When we discover a pattern of behavior, an insecurity, or a role we play in groups that just won’t fit with our current situation, it may pay us to see if there is some ‘leaving’ we need to do. The family we grew up in (family of origin) or even the relationships we built while preparing from the field, may actually be hindering us from finding our God-given place on our field of service.
Here’s a snippet from the article.
“The family you grew up in is your family of origin. And from your family of origin you learn how to see yourself, others, and God. Your early experiences, daily routines, and unique family structure shape your relating patterns and beliefs about how life and relationships work. These formative early years shape and mold our answers to critical questions like: Is the world a safe place? Are people basically trustworthy? Am I loved for who I am or for what I do? Can I make a mistake and still experience being valued? Will someone be there for me when I call? These and many similar critical questions get answered by your family of origin. The answers to these questions then shape your personality, your view of relationships, your insecurities, how you experience love, and how you approach life.
“In addition to shaping our relational landscape, your family of origin also created a role for you to play. The roles you played in your family of origin always show up and influence your relationships today—especially your marriage relationship. Your family of origin has a powerful influence on your development!”
To read the whole article go to: Leaving and Cleaving