Peter's Wife

helping women connect with their world

A Perfect Ending to a Lousy Day

No matter where we live or what we do, we all have lousy days sometimes. In this month’s newsletter, my husband shares some great ways to make lousy days turn out better.

John comes home from work one day to find Sally in tears. “I am a terrible mother,” she cries!  “I don’t know why I ever let you get me pregnant! Any mother could do this better than me.”

Her three year old, Timmy, had tried to see how many revolutions a goldfish will make when you flush it down the toilet.  He tried to teach the cat to swim too. Then he unwound a whole roll of toilet paper, wrapped himself in it, and stalked around the house droning,  “You’re not the mummy! I am the mummy.” Certainly not the kind of potty training she had in mind. All of that before lunch.

The rest of the day was even more daunting. Timmy, the three year old tornado, had reduced a perfectly capable mother– a woman with a masters degree and a nice even temperament– into a sobbing mass of regrets. Did I mention that she is expecting their second child, too?

You’ve had days like that haven’t you? No? Oh. You’re one of those perfect moms who have discovered the foolproof secret to tranquil child raising. The rest of us secretly hope that the next time you and your husband make love, the result will be a Timmy. Then we’ll see how tranquil you are. Heh Heh. [Read more…]

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Weathering Storms

Right now, storms dominate the news. All kinds of storms: weather, political, and international. As always, relationship storms and personal tragedies abound.

Recently our adopted country, Malaysia, has been rocked by several storms. One was the disappearance of MH370. People are still talking about it, puzzled about what happened to the plane and the people. Then, within months, MH17 was shot down over the Ukraine. There is a lingering sense of uncertainty about air travel here. Some have even tried to say that these two events are portents of spiritual importance.

All over the earth, perhaps even where you live, there are earthquakes, hurricanes, typhoons, droughts and forest fires. Everyone everywhere has been affected in some way by these destructive events.

Perhaps nature isn’t hassling you right now, and you do not live under the threat of terrorist attack. But I am quite sure that many of you are in the turmoil of personal storms: broken relationships, children straying from the faith, or taking up hurtful lifestyles. Perhaps even a loved one’s death.

Storms are not optional. They will come. How do we endure them? How do we survive them?

[Read more…]

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Leave and Cleave

This morning I read this article from Today’s Christian Woman, Leaving and Cleaving. Steve Mesmer wrote the article to help couples successfully leave the family they grew up in. Many couples don’t fully leave their family of origin because they carry patterns of behavior and roles they played into their marriage. His article gives some very good insights into discovering areas that we need to leave in order to properly cleave to our husband.

I thought many of the insights Steve Mesmer mentioned could also apply to our leaving our home culture and adapting to our new one. When we discover a pattern of behavior, an insecurity, or a role we play in groups that just won’t fit with our current situation, it may pay us to see if there is some ‘leaving’ we need to do. The family we grew up in (family of origin) or even the relationships we built while preparing from the field, may actually be hindering us from finding our God-given place on our field of service.

Here’s a snippet from the article.

“The family you grew up in is your family of origin. And from your family of origin you learn how to see yourself, others, and God. Your early experiences, daily routines, and unique family structure shape your relating patterns and beliefs about how life and relationships work. These formative early years shape and mold our answers to critical questions like: Is the world a safe place? Are people basically trustworthy? Am I loved for who I am or for what I do? Can I make a mistake and still experience being valued? Will someone be there for me when I call? These and many similar critical questions get answered by your family of origin. The answers to these questions then shape your personality, your view of relationships, your insecurities, how you experience love, and how you approach life.

“In addition to shaping our relational landscape, your family of origin also created a role for you to play. The roles you played in your family of origin always show up and influence your relationships today—especially your marriage relationship. Your family of origin has a powerful influence on your development!”
To read the whole article go to: Leaving and Cleaving

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Baggage Check

Let’s look back for a moment. Remember when you knew, deep down in your heart, that you were going to go and serve the people in a different culture?  You experienced a whole range of feelings: fear, faith, joy, sadness – a little of everything.

Then came all the steps of preparation: training, raising support, learning about the field you were going to. You packed so much into every day, not wanting to miss anything that might be important to know.

Spiritually, you prepared. You read and studied everything you could get your hands on that would prepare you to grow in your personal relationship with God. You knew you should pack in all you would need to witness, to teach, to lead others in their walk.

Finally, you packed your belongings. You looked carefully at every little thing. Should you take it, store it, or give it away? How would it fare in the shipping? Would it stand up to the climate change? Would you need it there?

Now, you’re there. You’re on the field- just settling in, or maybe there for a very long time. And you discover that you brought a few attitudes and ideas that you didn’t need.

[Read more…]

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A Mother’s Sacrifice

Since Mother’s day is close, and since so many of my readers are special moms in special places, I wanted to send something about being a mother. On my personal Mother’s Day I will speak at a camp. Part of the message is about generosity. Then I found this chapter of Sue Eenigenburg’s newest book, More Screams, Different Deserts, and I knew I had the right thing to share with you.

Maybe Sue’s words will bring back some memories, both sweet and bittersweet, but mostly I hope you find yourself smiling, with maybe a knowing chuckle or two. Enjoy.

“We could find some chocolate in our host city, but not Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or Hershey bars or Nestle’s chocolate chips. My parents were kind enough to send us care packages filled with all kinds of goodies. We would ration one bag of chocolate chips to make three batches of chocolate-chip cookies rather than using them all for just one batch as the recipe recommended. We could hardly imagine using the whole package all at once! Rationing became a habit.

[Read more…]

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