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Peter's Wife

helping women connect with their world

Control Freak

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I’ve been on home visit since the middle of September. With all the activities and visits, I have not been able to write an article. But I found a great article, by Velvet Ashes contributor, M’Lynn, that gives a fresh way to look at a common problem. It helped me and I think you’ll find it helpful too.


Confessions of a Control Freak

I used to be a perfectionist control freak. Trying to meticulously organize every single little detail of my life was my way of dealing with stress. I felt if I could keep everything under control, that ball of anxiety that I kept tightly wound up in my chest wouldn’t explode. This was counterproductive, of course. The more I tried to control, the more stressed I became. Even little things had to be just right to keep me happy. Once, on a service trip, I was upset that a teammate didn’t make the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches the way I would’ve done it. Another time, I was aggravated with someone for not shredding lettuce properly. Don’t judge me crazy. I’m being honest, here!

One day, as my future husband and I sat chatting with our pre-marital counselor, I had a breakthrough.

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Filed Under: Attitudes & Emotions Tagged With: control, M'Lynn Taylor, perfectionist

God at Work

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Some months writing Peter’s Wife is easy. The thoughts come, the words flow, and with only a little editing the newsletter is ready to publish. Some months, like this one, I start and discard, start and discard. My heart is full and I have much on my mind, but it is hard to put in words that will bless others.

I don’t seek out the news, whether local or international. I just get a news feed, and give it a cursory look. Usually it does not affect me much. But sometimes I’m forced to pay closer attention, take some action, and pray about the stories I read.

This month I cannot get the news off my mind. So many sad and disappointing stories! So many places where it seems like Satan is winning! I need to see how God is at work.

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Filed Under: Spiritual Life, Uncategorized Tagged With: encouragement, faith

The Encourager

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Recently we led a family retreat for a local church. Their theme included encouraging others.  Although my husband is well-known as an encourager, he realized that he did not have a single sermon or lesson on the topic. So combining his own experience, observation, and biblical concepts, he wrote a lesson he called Portrait of an Encourager.

I’d like to share some of his thoughts with you. I’ll include some personal examples that might bring these home to you, my friends, who are living and working in cultures other than your own.

Remember: anyone can encourage. After all, the Great Encourager, the Holy Spirit, dwells in us. He helps us and helps us help others.

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Filed Under: Attitudes & Emotions Tagged With: encourage

When is it Time to Go Home?

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Is it time to go home?”

That question has come up frequently lately, both in personal conversations and in blogs and articles I’ve read. This is not just a question for those who have spent their whole adult life in His service to the nations. My family faced this question after two years of international service, and again after four years on the field.

We had pastored for 11 years before going to Africa. Though we loved the work in Africa, it was not the right fit for our family. We believed God was sending us to Asia, but needed approval from our board to make such a drastic move. Our board told us we could sell our belongings in Africa, but with the agreement we could buy them back, if we should return after meeting with them. We didn’t know if our time overseas would be over should we decide not to return to Africa. After meeting with us, they agreed to let us move to Asia, though it was a very unusual move. Who changes continents after only two years?

Then, after two years in Asia, we were scheduled for a furlough. We had only been able to stay in our Asian country by leaving every three months and getting a new visa upon return. That was very unsettling. So troubling in fact, that we wondered if we would return there after our home leave.

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Filed Under: Life--Cross culturally, Work--Cross Culturally Tagged With: change, home, re-entry

Blessed by Less

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In the early years of our marriage, we moved every few years. This helped to keep us from accumulating too much.

Nevertheless, over the years, we’ve accumulated a lot of things.  We’ve been given lots of gifts and we’ve bought things we liked. How about you?

Susan V. Vogt wrote a book called, Blessed by Less. For Lent one year, Susan took action: she gave away one thing a day for forty days. But what happened during that penitential period surprised her; she became so addicted to identifying unnecessary things in her life that she continued the practice for a full year. Then she began letting go of other baggage—some physical, some emotional—and found that, far from feeling poorer, she felt freer and more fulfilled than ever before. A spiritual place had opened that allowed Susan to unclutter her mind and deepen her faith.

Susan wrote, “Your life is an overflowing closet. You know it is. There are sweatshirts folded up in a corner of your mind where your children’s birthdays should be stored. That worry about the rust on the car is taking up the space that you had reserved for a slow cup of tea in the morning. I know how you feel. And guess what? There’s a way to get stuff back where it belongs: let go of some of it.

“Living lightly is not just about the stuff we accumulate, and it’s not just for people in the second half of life. It’s about an attitude of living with fewer burdens and encumbrances, whether you’re twenty-one or sixty-five. When done with honest self-awareness, the journey toward living more lightly has moved me to realize that I am blessed by less. Less stuff and worries have opened space to live with more contentment and meaning. Living lightly reminds me that my existence is more than accumulating possessions and status. Ultimately, I am on a spiritual pilgrimage. [Read more…]

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Filed Under: Attitudes & Emotions Tagged With: priorities, resources

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