Peter's Wife

Internet and Device Safety

Cross Cultural workers were early adopters of the internet and social media. Both have helped us in so many ways that we can’t imagine our life and work without them. In fact, some of my readers may have no memory of the days of blue airgrams, one-month turnaround times for mail, or overseas calls that cost a lot for very little time.

But that was yesterday. Today, though we don’t live close to our family, friends, and supporters at home, we have the freedom and instant connectivity that the internet has provided us.

Even so, with every freedom, there are dangers. So, in this issue, I will give you links to some of the best information I have found for internet security for you and your children. You may know about some of these tools, and perhaps use them, but it’s always good to do a checkup and update, if needed. [Read more…]

House Rules for Computers

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By Ben Taylor, May 2017 (www.bestvpn.com)

A well-considered set of technical “house rules” is a good starting point for families who want to work against the dangers presented by everyday technology. Different families will, no doubt, have different approaches, but here are ten possible house rules as a starting point.

Keep computers in living areas

The best place for the family computer(s) is the living room or kitchen, where children know that a parent may look over their shoulder at any time. Children already have online chat acronyms for warning their friends when people are watching, such as “POS” (parent over shoulder). Making clear you understand these will help too, and this resource will help with that. As an example of one to look out for, “ASL?” means “Age / Sex / Location?” and is often used at the start of conversations with online strangers.

Implement an “Internet embargo.”

You may wish to consider time-limiting Internet access to certain times of the day. Many routers even let you set the Wi-Fi network to disable itself after a certain time, say 9 pm. This may send shudders through many parents (myself included), but having such a policy is actually rather healthy for the adults in the household too!

Agree that parents will “friend” children on their social networks

When the time comes for children to want their own social media presence (much more on that below), a good initial compromise is to insist that one or both parents is a fully-fledged “friend” on that platform, who’s able to see all the child’s activity.

Give parents password access to all children’s devices

Children should not have devices that allow them to lock their activity away from their guardians’ reach. A parent should reserve the right to log in and see what’s been going on.

Parents approve or veto use of new social networks

If a child wants to get involved in a new social network (and in youngsters’ circles, there’s always a new big thing), they should get parental approval first. The UK site, Net-Aware, offers a fabulous resource that helps parents learn about new social networks, what they do, and what ages they are suitable for.

Children must tell parents before providing any personal information online

The idea here is to make handing over personal information online the exception, rather than the rule. Children should understand why it’s generally a bad idea to hand out addresses and phone numbers. In fairness, this is a reasonable stance for adults to take also.

Children must only use online chat to people they talk to in real life

This should be a no-brainer, but GuardChild states that nearly 70% of teenagers are contacted by strangers online on a regular basis and don’t notify their parents. Constant reminders on this are therefore paramount.

Web browsing histories should not be deleted

Youngsters (and adults!) who continually delete their web histories are generally looking at things they don’t want others to know about. You may, therefore, wish to make deleting browser histories a forbidden action for your children. The same applies to using “incognito” or private browsing modes, which don’t maintain any history.

I very quickly became aware of the non-existent browser history which made me instantly suspicious. At the time, Windows machines maintained a file (called INDEX.DAT) which allowed me to see all the visited websites despite the deleted history. If a child has spent hours browsing online and there’s no history to show for it, this should set off some alarm bells!

Children must report any bullying or anything distressing they see online

This one may prove hard to police, especially when children become secretive teenagers. However, an ongoing open discussion about topics like cyber-bullying should go some way to making children feel comfortable in sharing these issues.

Breaches mean a loss of privileges!

It’s almost inevitable that children will bend the rules at some point. As and when they do, it’s important for parents to follow up on their threatened sanctions – or nobody will take the rules seriously in the future.

You can read more of this article on Internet Safety: How to Keep Kids and Teens Safe Online

Why Do We Do, What We Do, Anyway

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Do you ever wonder why we do what we do? I’ve had that on my mind recently. All around us we see the poisoned fruits that grow from diseased decisions. People hurt; lives ruined; abounding disillusionment. Yet we, who choose to follow the Bible’s ways, may be seen as beings from another world. (In truth, we are!) Yet even in the face of criticism, incredulity, and sometimes animosity, we continue doing what we know is right.

I recently saw some words that very powerfully express that divine determination. Among other places, these words below were found in Robert Griffin III’s locker when he left Redskins Park. RGIII was a star footballer whose career ended due to a string of injuries. He was known as a strong Christian, but he was tested by the collapse of his dreams. Many sources mention that the words were also found on Mother Teresa’s Orphanage wall; some say in her very room. You may have seen them before. If so, take a fresh look in the light of your present circumstances and condition.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
BE KIND ANYWAY.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends, and some genuine enemies.
SUCCEED ANYWAY.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
BE HONEST AND SINCERE ANYWAY.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
CREATE ANYWAY.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
BE HAPPY ANYWAY.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
DO GOOD ANYWAY.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
GIVE YOUR BEST ANYWAY.

In the final analysis, it’s between you and God.
IT WAS NEVER BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY.

I was thinking . . . [Read more…]

The God Who Sees Me

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In past issues, we’ve talked about how we see others. But recently I’ve been thinking about how God sees us and our homes.

It all started when I was reading the story of Hagar and Ishmael. Her story is a sad one. She was an innocent victim of Sarai’s misguided attempt to fulfill God’s promise of a son. After Hagar was pregnant, her relationship with Sarai became so bad, she saw no choice but to run away. Pregnant, angry, alone, she did not believe anyone knew about her or cared. Then God’s angel visited her. He told her she had to return and submit to Sarai, and promised her a son who would have descendants too numerous to count. Comforted, and with a promise from God, Hagar called God by a name that clearly described her experience with him: The God Who Sees Me. (Gen. 16:13) For God had seen all of this crazy, mixed up story.

That led me to read Psalm 139 again. It tells us in more detail the ways God sees us. He sees us when we sit and stand. He knows our thoughts and our words before we speak them. He sees us in the best and worst places we go. He sees us as well in darkness as in light. He even saw us being formed in our mother’s womb. You may know all of that, but perhaps this is a good time to focus on those truths again- find freshness in them.

So, how does God see you?

God sees your whole life; past, present and future. Since He sees it all, He is not surprised by events that surprise you. He sees how each part fits into His plan, what He can do with it, and how He will make it all work for your good.

He saw your body being formed in your mom’s womb. He knew the effect those genes and hormones would have on how you grew and how you age. He doesn’t look at us and say, “Oh, my, you’ve gotten quite fat or wrinkled or gray.” As we give our body to Him, He helps us become all we should be. He helps us be satisfied with ourselves. He gives us strength every day for that day’s needs. He sees you as you are and loves you.

He sees your thoughts and feelings. He sees when you are irritated or afraid or tired. He sees when you struggle with anger, and calms you if turn to Him. He provides a way of escape from your temptations. He sees you turn your thoughts away from the world’s way of thinking and He is pleased. As you spend time in His Word and with Him, even your thoughts are more in tune with Him.

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Expectations and Limitations

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Sally and Jim decide that God is calling them Africa. They are both excited, but a little afraid, too. (I am sure you remember that combination of conflicting emotions.) Before leaving for Africa, Jim and Sally have to visit churches and raise support. That means meeting a lot of people, and staying in many homes. Now, Jim is an outgoing guy who has never met a stranger. He talks easily in any situation. Sally is a private person- a nice gal with a warm heart, but she doesn’t meet strangers easily. That is a recipe for tension. How will Sally and Jim manage the expectations they will encounter from churches, combined with Sally’s reticence about new people and places?

I ran headlong into conflict between expectations and limitations this week. I had volunteered to do a job for a friend. Most of the work was completed. But then I hit the wall. The friend asked for more than I knew how to deliver. I had to admit I could not meet the expectations because of my own limitations.

Nevertheless, I dove in to find a solution. After several hours, I realized I could only do it if I studied, practiced, and learned a new set of skills, and only then with a lot of technical support. It would also mean neglecting other commitments. Fortunately, when I admitted my problem, my friend understood and graciously thanked me for all I had done

We hear a lot about win-win solutions, resolutions that leave all parties feeling hopeful. With that in mind, I am sharing my husband’s article, “Expectations and Limitations.” In a word, it’s all about adjustment. I hope it will help you find a path from frustration to fulfillment. If it does, everyone can be a winner. [Read more…]