Peter's Wife

Expectations and Limitations

Sally and Jim decide that God is calling them Africa. They are both excited, but a little afraid, too. (I am sure you remember that combination of conflicting emotions.) Before leaving for Africa, Jim and Sally have to visit churches and raise support. That means meeting a lot of people, and staying in many homes. Now, Jim is an outgoing guy who has never met a stranger. He talks easily in any situation. Sally is a private person- a nice gal with a warm heart, but she doesn’t meet strangers easily. That is a recipe for tension. How will Sally and Jim manage the expectations they will encounter from churches, combined with Sally’s reticence about new people and places?

I ran headlong into conflict between expectations and limitations this week. I had volunteered to do a job for a friend. Most of the work was completed. But then I hit the wall. The friend asked for more than I knew how to deliver. I had to admit I could not meet the expectations because of my own limitations.

Nevertheless, I dove in to find a solution. After several hours, I realized I could only do it if I studied, practiced, and learned a new set of skills, and only then with a lot of technical support. It would also mean neglecting other commitments. Fortunately, when I admitted my problem, my friend understood and graciously thanked me for all I had done

We hear a lot about win-win solutions, resolutions that leave all parties feeling hopeful. With that in mind, I am sharing my husband’s article, “Expectations and Limitations.” In a word, it’s all about adjustment. I hope it will help you find a path from frustration to fulfillment. If it does, everyone can be a winner. [Read more…]

Discover and Rediscover

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I am fascinated by how God works in our lives to make us useful and productive for His kingdom. Even more so when I see how different we are in personality, temperament and background.

Our life as cross-cultural workers is full of discovery. Whether we have been doing the same thing the same way for a very long time, or never get to settle for long in one place, God wants us to depend on Him. He has many surprises for us along the way. And He knows just what it will take to enable each of us to do our part in his eternal mission.

New Attitude, New Door

Sometimes it is just a change of attitude that opens a door to much greater opportunities. I think that is what happened to Peter in Acts, Chapter 10. Peter’s attitude towards the Gentiles underwent a major transformation. When his attitude changed, he could see the new door God had opened, but not until then. Our attitude adjustments might not be that dramatic, but they can create openness on our part to new open doors.

New Hunger, New Door

Sometimes the Spirit creates a hunger in us for something more, or greater, or different. That kind of hunger is never born from human restlessness or a desire to prove our worth. It always comes from godly passion- a deep, intense, abiding desire to see God’s will accomplished in some new ways. It leads us to pray, and that in turn can lead us to a new strategy or emphasis.

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MK Challenges

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The inspiration for this article is from the book, Letters Missionaries Never Write by Frederick L. Kosin. If you can get the book, I recommend it to you.

The letter that intrigued me was from a young adult MK. She talked about many of her feelings and thoughts about moving from her home country to the field, attending boarding school, and returning to her home country for college. I recognized many of the scenarios from my children’s time overseas, and then back in their home culture. At first I planned to share her insights in this newsletter. But instead, I decided to address moms of MKs. My purpose is simple: I want to encourage you to hear your own kids and respond to their particular thoughts about this global nomad life.

Going Out

The first feeling this young woman mentioned was that she had no choice about becoming an MK. She said her parents did a lot right. They discussed the decision carefully, and talked to her and the other children about the place they would go. She was excited at first, but later cried herself to sleep with grief about losing her friends. It became so bad she wished she could die and go to heaven since that would be better. I wonder if we, as parents, ever fully understand how our children, at their ages, experience our responses to the will of God.

Our children don’t have a choice about being MKs, or military brats, or inner city kids, or doctor’s kids. No child chooses their parents’ career. Our MKs are not unusual in that. Even so, we should do everything we can to help our kids have the best life they can within the limits of our calling. We should try to teach them how to get the most out of the life they have been given. But we should not feel guilty that they did not have a choice about the type of life they grow up in.

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A Sure Foundation

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Is your heart heavy today? Have you heard more bad news that you feel like you can handle?

We hear the same bad news as everyone around the world: wars, political intrigue, natural disasters, illness, divorce, and broken lives.

But living overseas, we also hear things that trouble us about where we are, and that may affect what we are doing. We would share the burden with our family and supporters back home, but we know they couldn’t understand why we are so troubled by it. They mean well, but it is just too far from their experience to understand. So, we send general prayer pointers while carrying the heavy specifics in our hearts.

The Foundation of God’s Presence
This is surely the time for comfort from Isaiah 33.6-

“He [God] will be the sure foundation of your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure.”

Reminding ourselves, and others, to turn to God in these times is not like giving a placebo. When administering a placebo, we may say, “This is a miracle pill, it will surely help you.” We know it is just a bitter pill with no power of its own to help. But, maybe if the person believes enough, it may help.

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My Husband My Friend

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I wonder how many of my readers knew, when they married their husbands, that one day they would be living and serving in a different culture. We knew how to love our husbands in our home context, but how do we love our husbands in this context? So much has changed. He has days so filled with toil that he barely drags in the door. Other days he is flying high, filled with the joy of fulfilled dreams. How do I love this guy in this place?

Paul the Apostle wrote an honest, instructive letter to his young friend and co-worker, Titus. At the time Titus was a pastor serving in a morally confused and degraded culture. Part of Paul’s straight-forward counsel had to do with the behavior of the more mature women in the church. They needed to be reverent, not slanderous, not addicted to any substance, and capable of teaching what is good. Then he gives his reason:

‘Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children.’
Titus 2:4 NIVUK

I always assumed that the word for love in this verse was agape, or covenant love. That seemed to imply a duty to love. But the Greek word is philandros, a word that carries a feeling of friendship for the man you married. Both are great words. And both, along with eros, a word that often describes sexual love, have importance for a healthy marriage.

As PW’s we need to remember that even though our husbands might be doing heroic or sacrificial deeds, and even though we might be just as involved, our husbands need our love in all its dimensions. For now, I want us to remember the importance of being our husband’s loving friend. [Read more…]